she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
Randomize
