Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
Randomize
