what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
Randomize
