my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
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