I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
Blow job season was short but glorious.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
Randomize
