you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
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