I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
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