She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
Randomize
