Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
Randomize
