Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
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