seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
