I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Randomize
