We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
Randomize
