I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
This house was built for laser tag.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
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