I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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