C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
Randomize
