he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
Randomize
