guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
Randomize
