I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
Randomize
