Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
Randomize