Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
