Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
I ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH A GUY WHO HAS A NICHOLAS CAGE POSTER ABOVE HIS BED I CANT HANDLE LIFE.
The universe is either telling you 1. you make terrible decisions or 2. its time to let go of your hatred of Cage.
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
Randomize
