You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
The feeling are messing with the penis
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
Randomize
