there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
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