Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
apparently i ate an entire bag of goldfish, kissed some guy with a girlfriend who now wants to kill me, made my sister sleep in my bed with me while i wore no pants, and told my whole family i am pregnant with jonny's devil baby...never drinking again
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
its liver damage thursday
Randomize
