So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
I told the emergency room nurse I didn't want to stop and ruin the moment. She said safewords are there for a reason. Super condescending. Got her number though.
Turns out it's a fake number.
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
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