Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
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