I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
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