Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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