I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
Randomize
