Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Randomize
