White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
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