party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
Randomize
