at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
Just took my morning after pill in the library
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
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