her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
The lady at the Humaine Society gave me her nephew's number because I seem like a loving and caring person.
Does she know that each time you've adopted a new cat in the past year it's because some guy stopped fucking you and you don't want to eat your feelings?
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
Randomize
