just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
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