omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
i just made my gag reflex go away.
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Randomize
