put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
Church boner. Awkwardddd
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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