My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
Randomize
