Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
Randomize
