how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
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