bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
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