I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
Randomize
