Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
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