Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
Randomize
