I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
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