I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
Randomize
