Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
Randomize
