it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
Randomize
