DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
Randomize
