I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
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