i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Randomize
