Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
I heard we made out
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
Randomize
