hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
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