I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
I understand Curling. That high.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
