he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
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