things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
Randomize