My entire life is one complicated drinking game
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
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