And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
Randomize
