My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
I got her a Nickelback box set.
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
Randomize
