if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
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